Non-Will Christmas Letter

by Alessandro Bergonzoni

Here again the Holiday wishes, fantasy and heart of the great Bolognese artist.


This is a non-will, meaning that it is not the one I am leaving if I am not coming back to what I want when I do come back...
When I come back, I want to change life so that I can wear pants a size smaller. I want a queen size bed and a monument: mine. I want an airplane with two enormous ears instead of the wings, practically a Jumbojet. I want a brother sun, and a sister moon, to entertain me day and night like Saint Francis who talked with birds, was quiet with fish and repeated everything with parrots. And by the way, I also want a parrot that says Loreto and also another one that says Assisi.
When I come back, I want a motorboat guided by a plumber to go and find my wife when her waters break. I want to build a hospital where people who never had anything can go and I want to call it Hospital of the Great Uninjured. Then I want to build another one where only those people who think they are or were loved can go; those who think they are the best but are not; those who think they have lots of money but don't: the Hospital of the Great Illusions. When I come back, I want a pointer dog that

Picture - Close up picture of Alessandro Bergonzoni

will draw with me, but most of all that will temper my pencils. I want a nice pair of new "yesses" to nod even on the snow. At all cost, I want to become friends with Walker and say: "I went for a walk with Walker" just for fun. I want to get to know the Sumerians better, and there are also the Stupids and the Ignurants. I want to put a blindfold on my eyes in order to buy and see all the pirated videos I want.

I want to hitchhike using my middle finger without offending anyone. I want a pacemaker with wires so that I can call directly those I love. I want to make the quiet sea cry until it becomes agitated.
I want to dirty the choir of white voices.
But above all I no longer want to cry over spilled milk, I want to change the dairy cows instead.

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